I have been in a loveless marriage for the past eight years and I want out. Let me be honest: My husband is a drunk. He doesn’t come home after work. Instead he goes straight to a bar where he and his “buddies” drink themselves into oblivion. We have two children in school who sees their father on the weekend before he goes off to Lord-knows-where. He doesn’t come home for meals, so I can only assume he eats out or he has found someone else to cook for him. Either way, I don’t care.
I’m a stay-at-home mother who hasn’t worked for a company in years. I thought I could wait until my children graduated from high school, but there’s no way I can. Help! If I decide to leave before the end of the year, and move in with my own parents until I get on my feet, will I have any trouble from my husband? Will I be able to find a job quickly? Any other insights you care to share with me would be greatly appreciated. – Becky – 02/23/1979
If you decide to move between right now and the end of the year, you will find a job within the six-week time frame of your actual move. Whatever you are choosing to accept as a job, do know it is a temporary income until you find something more permanent. What I see for you in the near future (between January and May 2019), is a learning, in-class room experience. This tells me you’re either returning to school or in a learning environment taking independent classes. Whichever is the case, do know I feel this is directly related to returning to the work force.
As far as your husband goes, I don’t see any trouble with him. In fact, he will keep the same routine and pace as he did before. Although it is unfortunate that the two of you have grown apart; it is better for you as I do see you going forward in a much happier and progressive way. No worries!
Recently, my mother and I were in a conversation about my single status. She wants me to find someone and settle down. Even though that may be something I want later in my life, I can’t say that I want it now. I don’t date that often as my career keeps me very busy. Besides, I haven’t met anyone I’d care to share my life with. I have a guy friend who would like something more with me, but I don’t feel the same. Is there something wrong with me for not wanting this right now? Most of my friends are married already, so I feel like the clock is ticking for me if I ever want to have children. Motherhood isn’t on my biggest priority list either, but I’m feeling pressured just to get on with it.
My questions are 1) Will I meet someone soon and get married? and 2) Do you ever see me having children? – Ashley – 12/20/1991
There’s no need to feel pressured into getting married, nor to start a family. It happens when it happens; however, I can say between right now and March 2019, there is someone coming into your life that I see you spending significant time with. Since you shared with me you are busy with your job, this tells me this special someone is worth penciling in on your calendar, and you do. I can say I do not see you getting married over the next 18 months, nor will you have children within the same timing. Despite this, the one you are involved with will be someone, I’m sure, you’ll see as a potential partner. Enjoy your journey!